Walk into the light.......

"They're not part of consciousness as we know it. They linger in a perpetual dream state... ...a nightmare from which they cannot awake. lnside this spectral light... ...is salvation. A window to the next plane. They must pass through this membrane... ...where friends are waiting to guide them to new destinies."

If you didn't get the quote, one of my favorite movies is Tobe Hooper's Poltergeist. I just saw it on AMC...or one of those channels. Looking back, the story holds up, even with the non-digital effects. My rule: never compare apples to oranges; in this case analog-to-digital. It'll screw you up every time. There are wonderful subtle truths about the spirit world presented in the film. Although it may be a bit heavy-handed at times, I was amazed at the humor and cleverness, which gave us an out to the spookiness when we needed it. Tangina will forever be one of my favorite mediums into "the other side."

And who doesn't love Zelda Rubinstein??

Cue theremin music here.

One last thought . . .

It would be short-sighted not to wish my fellow bloggers a happy new year too!

This is an interesting concept and so 21st Century.

I love it.

...more to come! G'nite!

I digress to resolve

first, I want to wish myself a happy new year! I don't think I've ever done that. It felt good. I'm going to say it again....Happy new Year, Me!

With all the traditions of Holidays behind us, sort of. I've been thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. It's nice to have the cycles begin again. It's like life's built-in re-boot.

I know a bit about what I want to do this year, that is what new or additional things i would like to accomplish. It goes along with what I wish to drop from previous years. I have the list in my mind and I was going to post it, but more importantly, I think I'll keep pondering and not formally commit myself. Therein lies the first problem I had last year. Commitment. What is it I'm afraid of when I think of committing or even thinking about the word "committing." It seems to create a feeling of a rule that I now must follow and if I don;t do the thing I said then I've failed because I didn't even try. And so what. I took on plenty of things last year I didn;t know I would take on. I ended 2008 in an upbeat mood because I didn't give a shit about the Holidays and therefore wound up with little to no feelings of depression afterward. Yay! This is fantastic because the holidays bring on a false sense of responsibility to to buy things and do things because we feel obligated to do them based on stupid traditions.

A friend of mine commented that he didn't feel the spirit of the holiday at any time; nor did he "feel like" buying anything just because. I congratualted him because that is the opposite side of our commercial spirit of Christmas that I've failed to explore in depth. That is, when you don;t feel like doing anything, i.e. buying gifts, sending cards, attending parties, then why do so? Why need some sort of approval or not. I missed a dinner with some good friends recently and analyzed why I had not made it a better priority. ADHD was one excuse. There were others, but I felt really bad because it didn't even register; I had no back up for memory loss and instead was called several times while I was doing somthing else. I went to the gym. I digress, but it still fits the point. So I resolved to give myself a higher sense of self-respect and made a personal promise to at least 1. be honest and 2. call when I';m going to be late or not even show up.

The fun would have happened but it was strange to be in limbo land at that point and not recognize by poor 'Emily Post' moment. Then again Emily Post was a much too formal apporach and was really for the snotty rich and not everyone else. THAT is unAmerican, or at least exclusive behavior. Oh well. She's dead and most people don't even know who she is anymore. Good. We need better standards anyway.

So as I conclude this post, may I resolve to myself to blog shorter, do the things I am thinking of doing this year and by all means raise my level of respect for myself and my friends.

I think I'll do the gym more too. It has a hot tub.

Anticipating the New Year

It's the last day of the year. It has been a strange yet somewhat productive day, but not at all like I planned yesterday. A friend was to come over and spend the day watching DVDs and celebrate a late Christmas. As it turns out he had errands to run and a few personal things to take care of, so we delayed getting together a little while. Meanwhile, another friend came over and waited to see him too and enjoy a visit.

The day wore on and we waited and waited. It got so late that I called and suggested we just plan another day when we could enjoy more time together.

Looking back over the day, it was a little frustrating; the day was spent 'in between.' Off subject, this is kind of funny. I'm an animator. I began my career doing cel painting and then moved up to assistant animation A.K.A. in-betweening. For those not familiar with animation terms, 'in-betweening' is drawing the pictures between the extreme poses in animation. An animator may draw extreme poses numbered 1 and 5; the in-betweener draws 2, 3, and 4. I thought about this in comparing that definition and what today was like in my life. It was definitely an in-between day and in need of a plan B to fill it in.

So I ask, am I 'in-between' life's extremes at the cusp of the new year? What are the things happening in this last few hours of 2008 and what extremes should I anticipate (if any) for 2009. I'm certain there will be surprises in store in the coming New Year as there were things that happened this year I did not expect. It's funny to be in that place where a plan has been made, I anticipate the outcome, assume a few things that will likely happen, then nothing happens. We all know what assuming does.

Even so, today, lessons were learned for the next time such a day may occur and a little bit of catch-up I needed was accomplished and I still had surprises waiting for me. I received a gift; a really cool Hot Wheels Limited Edition 1966 Batmobile. 1:18 scale fr children 14 and up. For a couple moments, I'm 14 all over again.

Good-bye 2008.....

And now, on to the new year!

UFO - Vapor trail

Last summer, while driving back from West Texas I had the opportunity to see the strangest vapor trail ever. Not that the vapor trails left by jets is usually a streak that dissipates over time. However this time, with two other passengers, I confirm that what we were looking at could not have been made by a jet. In fact, I have never been able to find anything of this nature on the web. The photo I've attached to this post is a retouch in PhotoShop.

The purpose is to illustrate the kind of vapor trail we saw in July 2008.

A funny thing, we passed by the exit for Stephenville, TX where the huge "Walmart-sized' UFO had been spotted and reported last January. We opted to keep going as we didn't have enough time for the detour, and since there was nothing to see anyway. Check out UFO Hunters on the Science Channel this Wednesday for a new episode. Please note the program can be rather hit or miss with it's content, but the guys seem sincere enough.

Please feel free to post any thoughts you might have. We have NO explanation about why (or IF) there could be a sudden turn from a jet or what other kind of aircraft could leave this kind of angular trail.

Enjoy the picture and happy UFO hunting.

Consumerisms, collecting.

I was listening to NPR today. On one of the programs they interviewed a UPS employee who said his mall deliveries to a bunch of stores which included Banana Republic, (although he called it "banana") were down from 1500-2000 packages to only 900-1000 in this years deliveries, if I heard this correctly. Anyway, the point being his numbers are way down.

I think I have a blatant lesson to learn here and it is in order to learn a valuable lesson; I had better evolve and think of new ways to sustain myself. The stores have been selling high-priced junk at a premium for years and I bought it. Now what? Granted some of my best clothes have come from friends or thrift stores, but occasionally I buy the shirt or pants not on sale and experience buyers remorse for about two seconds. Shame on me. Gasoline companies do the same and then we're surprised or even elated when the prices come down to almost half of what they had been in Spring and Summer 2008 which is good, BUT how quickly we forget how they jabbed us in the gut. My memory is getting better and better. Good. That's what evolution is all about.

I decided that instead of buying high-priced gas to buy less; consume less. In fact a lot of other people thought the same way. Yay! We did it! It wasn't to show the oil companies we have brains. We did it out of necessity and isn't that better? We consumers tend to shine when forced into a corner. And we can continue to take the same approach. I take pride in that. It's never too late, is it?

Maybe it's time we took a good long look at what we really need, not want, but need. I feel a high sense of gratification when I give away my stuff, either new or used. I have too many clothes. I collect too many things. Hell, I even collect too many friends on Facebook. Why? What's that about? Oh yeah.....I collect compulsively. (It used to be comic books.) Still, what can a person do with 200 virtual friends? Maybe it's too early to tell. People are one thing. Virtual people are entirely another.

Looking back, I have added a few so-called "friends" to my ever-growing list rather compulsively. Don't get me wrong. There are many friends I LOVE to keep up with, even if we don't chat everyday. Then there are the ones I see in person and have actual face-time with, which is a bit better. Then there's this another category of people who don't really give a s**t but want me for the same thing I added them for. Granted there are those I won't call either and so, again, what's the point? Should I drop them or block them? I think I should call them. I will.

For 2009, I'm doing some house cleaning. I don't need to keep adding virtual "friends." I want friends who want to spend actual Facetime with me; friends whom I find enjoyable to be around and vice-versa; let's enhance each other's lives; let's inspire ourselves to grow, learn and evolve through love; this lovely thing called personal contact. Does that sound lofty? What about old fashioned? Love is a great and sometimes powerful word, but who was it who said "Words are cheap?"

For 2009, I'm going to reduce my Facebook time and spend a little more actual face-to-face time with the people I truly cherish. And instead of wasting time purchasing things I don't need, eating too much food at restaurants, and going places I don't really care about, I think I'll paint more, read more, blog more and create a more authentic lifestyle with people.

I think I'll collect some quality, for a change.

Sugar Plums-Memories of Christmas Past

One of the things our family enjoyed talking about this year, if all too briefly, was the things from our childhood Christmases that we still love to remember. The top three topics were: Stockings and the stocking stuffers, Christmas smells, and the anticipation.

As children, we had no idea we were essentially poor. Yet our family had a tradition every year for the things Santa would put in our stockings.

But before I get into that, let me first say my stocking was made by my Grandmother Elsie, out of bright red flannel. It was abnormally large since she used a pattern from her volunteer work at church which was making stockings for Baylor Hospital for the babies born close to or on Christmas Day. This was the early 196os and I was born in October 1960.The pattern was large enough to hold a baby, which it did, but not me. My brother and I were almost two years apart, so we both had similar designs; a felt snow man, a felt Santa, a sleigh or reindeer, also in felt and glued to the flannel, instead of sewn. Our names were embroidered on her sewing machine in Christmas green. It was the very best thing to hold a baby; even better for all the stuff. My sister came 5 years later and was not as fortunate; her stocking was red artificial fur, store bought, smaller and her name was glued on. She still got cool stuff though.

Here's the ususal "stuff" we got for years, even as teenagers: hazelnuts, Hershey kisses, smoked oysters, peppermints, butter scotches, a few oranges and apples, Life Savers books (remember those?), M&Ms, Butterfingers or some other candy bar, small toys such as string tops or Whizzers™ by Mattel (gyro-tops which seem to spin for hours), Pez, View Master reels, candy canes, small wrapped gifts for fun, kaleidoscopes, sometimes, but rarely, a banana and last but not least little Hickory Farms™ kid size cheeses and sausages...I love typing "option 2" for the "™" it adds so much.

Now take all those things together and stick your whole head into the stocking. Go ahead. You know you want to. Now, breathe all that aroma. Do it again. The flannel, the candy, the fruit....all of it. This is what Christmas morning smelled like for us for many years.

Then we grew up.

The end.

Crap. I hate growing up. So for all intents and purposes, I'm still 19...Got it??

Oh wait....not so fast.....there were other Christmas smells too, I almost forgot. At my grandparents house, that is my father's parents (who were not divorced) we had a cool Grandmother making fudge, divinity and brownies and there were always peanuts around, especially during Xmas. At this house another favorite scent was the smell of the 8mm movie projector running while we watched family home movies. I suppose the modern day equivalent would be watching VHS tapes of holidays past, but can you smell those?

At grandparent's house number two; this would be Mom's father C.M. and his wife Nina, our very first and only Step Grandparent, Nina made holiday popcorn balls, all buttery and sweet but in a specific kitchen drawer (if we found it) was a stash of Juicy Fruit™ gum or Wrigley's Spearmint™ gum. Both smells were prominent as you pulled the drawer open. But Grandy (C.M. to the adults) kept his Hersheys™ bars stashed and well hidden from us kids. The last smell I can remember from this house was Grandy's cigar, which we didn't seem to mind at the time. He quit later and that favorite smell was almost lost forever, until now.

The last of the Christmas smells takes me to my Grandmother Vivian's house. Even though we ate plenty of Holiday meals at all the grandparents' homes, this one had a magical smell during Christmas. Grandmother Vivian loved to cook but certain foods were always over done; other foods were barely recognizeable as what they used to be. Yet the smells still linger in my mind and among those would be the ham and green beans with bacon (they were cooked to almost mush by the time she took them off the stove....the GAS stove I'll add which wafted through the entire house since the pilot lights always stayed on, even in the Summer. Something about gas heating always makes me think of her house at Christmas. Another great smell were her famous sugar cookies. I say famous because she would often leave out the sugar. We always wondered what in God's name was she thinking, but we faked liking them anyway. She could never figure out what she had done to make them taste so "yummy." One time, we think she accidentally substituted too much baking soda, but the mystery of her special recipe was never solved from year to year. They made a fantastic Christmas smell, however, and it will always be a cherished memory. The last of these is an obvious smell, but I can't top it: Wood burning in a fireplace on a cold night. I'll stop there.

The last of these memories could only be summed up by the greatest of all intangible Christmas brain candies: anticipation.

What I believe made us grow feel this thing begins first with the holiday specials. My top favorites which are Charlie Brown's Christmas, The Grinch, and Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph. These TV elements combine to make us REALLY believe in Santa and all the stuff that is Christmas. A long time ago, these animated specials were doled out one or two at a time during the three weeks before Christmas beginning Thanksgiving night. By the time Christmas was here, we were ready to literally bust. I think my great nephew who is 3, still gets as wound up, but I know his world is greatly different from mine, yet we put all the same crap in his stocking just because we had it too.

All these old "files" have been stored away for years and I chose to let them out again and live them as this year comes to a close. We grow up; I grew up. Our grandparents and even our parents eventually pass. My mother and one great aunt still live. All my grandparents and my father are gone. They leave us a thing that becomes their legacy, the things we preserve if we carry it on. Hopefully it's full of the same innocent wonderment and happiness they created, whether amidst the usual family dramas or not. They carried forward their old traditions too and gave them to us without giving it too much thought, I suppose. But the candy, the gifts, the times I recall with my family were always so planned where everything was wrapped individually, and gift bags didn't exist.

This is the colorful, smell-filled Christmas that lives on in a parallel world, somewhere in my head.

May it always be so.